(I'm re-posting a note from facebook dated January 31, 2010)
My dad's sister is two years older than him and just arrived with her husband and youngest daughter. Sitting on my dad's bedside, holding his hand, my dad says, "I can't believe it. I just can't believe I'm going to see mom and dad soon." Aunt Donna says (and I wish you could hear her tone--disappointed, I suppose), "I know. . . . You just have to rub it in; you'll get there before me." Everyone laughs loudly and the conversation continues on the serious topic but with a calm and natural air that includes the humor we all share. I smirk as I listen, shaking my head, thinking, "always sibling rivalry--even in death." And that's a comforting thought because it means nothing changes. I'm glad I'm here for moments like these. And oh the reminiscing! I never thought I would laugh so hard at my father's death bed. Last night Ben and I were lying in bed and he says, "there are a lot of funny stories here." "Yes," I said emphatically, "There are!" Like Jeff's story of a fight he had with Becky that involved a pitcher of water and him on a toilet. LOL :-D Thanks for sharing that one! It made Dad's laugh shake the water bed, that deep silent chuckle.
He's checking his messages frequently everyone. He was flipping out and had us all looking for his glasses because he had received a text. And when he is too weak, we read them to him. He checks facebook easily on his iPhone and even asked us how to reply to messages on his wall. He likes to read them and being surrounded by his extended family is making him stronger. Not physically stronger, not really. But spiritually and emotionally stronger, which does affect his energy and skin tone. He was feeling good and said yesterday, "I can't believe I'm going to die." I smiled . . . and thought about the help he needs to sit up, or the way he gets winded rolling over to take a sip of soda (the one I didn't spill ;-). Or the way his body looks older because of the dramatic weight loss. He felt good enough to eat dinner in the kitchen, but had to be wheeled to the kitchen after getting help into his wheel chair. Sitting there across from him at the dinner table, I thought, "he looks like Grandpa Mackley." And I knew.
So keep the messages coming. They strengthen him a lot. He doesn’t understand what's happening, really. He knows this is the end, but he doesn't understand the effects on his body. He just knows love. And he needs lots of it. And love is what he feels from his big sister as she banters with him. And love is what he feels as his mom and dad prepare for him. And love is what he will feel when they embrace him. And love is what we'll feel as we let him go. Such overwhelming love.
Walk Tall, You're a Daughter of God
(words and music by Jamie Glenn)
Right now I have a prayer deep within my heart,
A prayer for each of you there is a special part
That you remember who you are and him who lives above.
Please seek for him and live his way; you'll feel his love.
(Chorus)
Walk tall, you're a daughter, a child of God.
Be strong; please remember who you are.
Try to understand; you're part of his great plan.
He's closer than you know. Reach up; he'll take your hand.
Long before the time you can remember,
Our Father held you in his arms so tender.
Those loving arms released you as he sent you down to earth.
He said, My child, I love you. Don't forget your great worth.
Chorus
This life on earth we knew would not be easy.
At times we lose our way, his path we may not see.
But please remember always, please that you are not alone.
He'll take your hand. He loves you! He will guide you home.
Chorus
Wandering Home
We're wandering home as time glideth by and weaveth its garland of years.
To a beautiful home and better by far than this one in this valley of tears.
Wandering home. Wandering home. Soon we will wander no more.
And, oh, may we meet each other at last, at home on that Heavenly shore.
