Daila's Diagnosis

Well the results are in . . . . Daila has been diagnosed with sensory processing disorder.

What does this mean?

Sensory Processing Disorder is a neurological disorder causing difficulties with processing information from the five senses, the sense of movement (vestibular system), and/or the positional sense (proprioception). For those with SID, sensory information is sensed, but perceived abnormally. We all have a little sensory sensitivity; preferences on food texture, sensitivity to light, being barefoot or not, etc. But for kids with sensory processing disorder the information is processed by the brain in an unusual way that may cause distress or confusion.

This sensoryfun.com link helps explain what this means by giving examples of how our senses work together to help us interact and function in life. These examples are such basic things (like opening a door) . . . when our senses process normally, we don't even think about how our body is processing the stimuli to help us get along.

Sensory Processing Disorder is often diagnosed in conjunction with other neurological disorders like ADHD or autism, but can also be its own independent diagnosis like in Daila's case.

How did we know?

A couple of indicators:
Daila didn't crawl, she scooted. She has trouble moving across her midline at times. She didn't walk until she was 2 years old.
She still wakes up several times at night and can't self-soothe. (We sense things internally, not just externally.)
She has severe separation anxiety and is fearful of social situations.
She seemed to throw fits for no apparent reason.
She gets upset when routine changes without warning or when she doesn't understand the schedule.
She is very verbal and active at home, but not with others (and not just strangers; sometimes cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents).

And all of these things sound like a normal 3 year old when considered in isolation. But the combination of circumstances led us to believe that there was something else going on.

What now?

Daila will need to go to preschool and occupational therapy. It takes her a little longer to process information so she needs lead time. She needs to know what to expect from people in movement and behavior. She needs to be guided to know how to interact with others and disciplined with sensitivity and understanding. If a babysitter, or aunt, or cousin, just got upset with Daila and raised his/her voice without apparent warning, Daila would freak out and withdraw, avoiding further interaction with that person. She wants and needs to know what to expect and what is expected from her. Well, we all want that. :) But Daila needs it to function properly. She needs help understanding what is happening around her. When playing with her, Daila feels more comfortable if you talk through what is going to happen. Otherwise she seems to behave like a "spoiled brat". But I promise we didn't raise a spoiled brat . . . she just doesn't understand the situation because she can't process it like we do.

There are lots of different "types" of sensory processing disorder. Daila is under responsive which means she seeks certain stimuli. (Like spicy food! She loves dipping her chips in salsa and chewy thai deer jerky.) So she will LoVe playing with you, as long as she knows what to expect. If you pick her up and play a "falling" game where you lift her up and down, she will get anxious. But if you pick her up and say, "Oh, you're heavy! I think you're slipping! Oh no!" and then let her fall a little, she will be fine. In fact, she'll probably start giggling before you lower her. She also likes to hang upside down . . . just not without warning. So it's pretty easy to accomodate her, when you are aware that she is sensitive.

Now the big trick is balancing her needs with her typical 3 year old manipulation of wanting to get what she wants. :) And educating other adults on what works best for your child (who otherwise looks and acts like a normal easy going child).

One lady (a substitute for Sunbeams at church) was trying to be helpful. She didn't see me motion to Daila to come back and talk to me. She reached out and grabbed Daila's arm to keep her with her class. Daila was so upset we had to leave church early. Easily avoided if she only knew she was dealing with a sensitive child.

We are learning a lot with this experience and I can't wait to see some results . . . I hope I'm doing the right things for her. There are positives and negatives with having a "diagnosis".

Missing Carrie

I hate cancer.

I was going to stop there and publish the post.... my creative way of making you think. I love poetry like that. Just a line or two that makes you really contemplate for a moment. "Now why would the author say that and just that?" But I don't think many of you would understand my attempt at "creativity". So I will explain:

My best friend, Carrie, died at 14 from a brain tumor.

My dad battled cancer and "won" only to have to continue chemo to battle the effects of the "cure".

My niece (also 14 coincidentally) has just begun a nasty fight with brain cancer.

I hate cancer.

Now if my mom ever saw this I would be reprimanded so I will expound a bit more:

Carrie was a messenger of strength. She was (is) a very special and strong spirit daughter of our Heavenly Father whose mission on this earth was linked to her experience with cancer. How can you hate the thing that leads so many people to personal growth and spiritual closeness with God? My privilege to know and associate with such an honorable and noble woman will forever be a part of who I am.

My dad is enjoying a full life, surrounded by family, a loving and supportive wife, 27 grandchildren (and counting)--oh! that wasn't an announcement for anyone and mostly not for me, by the way--and he still finds joy in everything he sees. He is still able to work at the temple and has found a perfect part time job managing some sort of lab that has flexible enough hours that he can stay home when he goes through one of his episodes.

My niece has just begun her fight, but I can already see the similarities between her and my other two close encounters with cancer. She is a strong spirit and a fighter. She will win, physically or not, she will win because cancer won't take her attitude, her faith, her hope, her family (whom she is sealed to for eternity). And if it can't take your spirit, then what's to fear? How can it ever really win? If it can't change who you are, then it doesn't change anything. Circumstances change, life around us changes, appearances change, but who we are doesn't change. She will always be a noble daughter of God. She had a purpose before she came to earth, she has a purpose here and now, and she will have a purpose when she returns to Him. Perhaps the mission changes, perhaps we change as we grow stronger in character, but who we are cannot be "beaten" by such an earthly, fleating thing as cancer.

But . . . I still hate cancer. I hate it because it forces me to see people I care about suffer while I stand by unable to do anything about the physical pain. I will find some way to overcome this feeling of hatrid so that cancer won't beat me emotionally (vicariously)--I don't want to give it that power. I will find my own way of beating cancer . . . for Grandma Carol, for Sue Houston, for Llewelyn Hendricks, for my niece, for my dad, for Carrie. For anyone who sees cancer up close, we all have a battle to fight.

Now I actually began composing this post several weeks ago and debated on whether or not I should really post it. (I've learned to NOT post things that are too personal . . . the hard way.) So what made me go against my new rule? A recent ovarian cancer diagnosis in another family member. A young 20-something, mom of two toddlers. Grrr . . . .

I hate cancer.

Brag Board

I don't want to blog about my life right now because report cards are due in less than two weeks and I'm stressing myself out so bad that I had a nightmare about school stuff last night. (It really isn't that bad if you look at it in the proper perspective, but I'd rather just avoid it for now and brag about my budding artists.)

This is Janae's African Textile print from her art class at school. I think we'll frame this one when it comes home. Her clown painting is a bit outdated and keeps falling from its spot in the playroom. I love the colors and textures in this one though. Janae has always had a creative streak in her. I remember a specific experience with her painting as a toddler. She blends colors well and arranges them in visually pleasing ways.

I can't remember the title of Anna's art piece, but it is another recent favorite of mine. She always has to use her favorite color (green) and she approaches art in a more organized way than Janae. What I like most about Anna's creations is the reflection of her personality. I can "feel" whether or not she enjoyed herself while creating her pieces. Maybe its a mom thing, but I think it's just a best friend thing.

Feb 7th and 66 Degrees in St. Louis

Enjoying the Beautiful Weather

My Lil Photographer

Well she looks innocent enough . . . right?! :)

I was playing around online when a couple of thoughts hit me all at once: 1. Daila is playing awfully quietly. 2. Last time I saw her, I had given her the digital camera to look at a picture of herself. 3. Where's the digital camera?

Well this is what she was doing when I checked on her:

Just playing with her dolly. And this is what I found on the digital camera:

Now just imagine about 75 more pictures just like that. Yep . . . 75!!!! :)

I guess looks can be deceiving.

My Crazy Weekend

Thursday: Family celebration of Ben's birthday. (See previous post.) :)

Friday: Adult celebration of Ben's birthday; dinner date and mall trip to buy new business attire for both of us. (Yippee for me! I get a present for Ben's birthday! ...or an early Valentine gift. Who cares, though. I got new clothes!!!)

Saturday: Ben builds a wall in the basement and I assist by keeping him company, keeping the girls out from underfoot, and avoiding all my other house chores. :P (Another gift for me . . . a warmer basement now that the concrete outer wall is insulated and covered with drywall.)

Sunday: Hmmm . . . Sunday morning Ben goes into work to print a handout for my young women class at church (which is 1-4 pm for us this year). Finds the fourth floor at Express-Scripts has flooded because of a sprinkler head bursting and water is draining down all floors of the building. So he is called into work there to move the technology (i.e. computers, phones, etc.) off of the flooded floor so proper clean up can be done and the corporation will be able to have its employees working at stations come Monday morning. Which means Ben has to call a friend to cover at his second job that he was supposed to do Sunday evening. (Thanks, Jorge).

Linda makes Mexican Delight to take over to a friends house for a Super Bowl party that evening. She survives church sans husband and with Daila with her throughout her lesson (mainly because her girls are so helpful and reverent). Thanks, girls!! Puts the casserole in the oven as soon as she gets home and gets ready for a evening of fun with new friends . . . but still sans husband who is sloshing around with computer equipment. :( Okay . . . so I know that going places takes longer for me without Ben's help to herd the sheep, but I'm doing okay . . . not stressing it . . . looking forward to downtime. But still . . . it's time to go! So I start shooing the girls out the door with everyone carrying something when I notice several things at once. Anna is leading the way in long sleeves, but no coat . . . in January . . . in the evening. Daila is following her example. Shoot! Go back in and grab Daila's coat . . . trip over the blanket that is in the middle of the floor . . . get frustrated at the clutter that I am now noticing the girls' have left in the past 30 min . . . quickly shrug it off grab the stuff and shut the door . . . . . . . . and realize that the keys are still inside. Grrreat. *sigh* This is where I beat myself up a bit because I have done this soooo often, but never in the cold, with a daughter without a coat, and having fasted all day. Needless to say I'm a bit grumpy now. I didn't handle myself too well at first. Trying to blame it on the girls' untidy behavior which distracted me. I figure we ought to go walking at the very least so Anna will be warmer (and I did have the blanket that I tripped over). And Janae, being helpful and everyone feeling bad, picked up the casserole . . . and dumped it onto the sidewalk. Now she feels awful. What are we going to do? I'm too grumpy to call anyone right away and too pouty because I wanted to go play with friends. So, although it may not have been the best option, we opted to walk to our nearby Applebees for a warm cozy dinner. Once I settled down a bit, I did call some friends and we came up with what would have been wonderful solutions. Oh well . . . . It turned out to be a nice girls' night out. I got to watch some of the game at the restaurant and our server provided my downhearted girls with some dessert on the house. (Helped make up for the casserole on the sidewalk.) And I learned some very valuable life lessons:

1. NEVER place the blame on your kids . . . even if you think you are teaching them responsibility. You are just rationalizing your own behavior. The first thing I should have said was, "It's okay. We're going to figure this out together."

2. ALWAYS find something positive to focus on in the midst of a trial. "We may not make it to the party . . . so we're going to have to make our own fun."

3. Laugh when you feel it can't get any worse. (And remember it can always get worse.)

4. Smile a lot. Your children are watching you closely when you are in crisis.

5. Even though you act happy, look for the positive, and smile . . . your children will still know that you are upset and stressed. They will still learn from your circumstances to be more tidy, to take their coat in the winter evenings, to hold foil pans more carefully or ask for help, and always remind their mom to take her keys without you being grumpy about it. They will learn from your positive example just as well. I promise.

6. And my favorite, be honest with your server . . . you may get free dessert.

So even though I could have responded better, we still made lemonade from our lemons and we bonded together as Voelkel girls. It was a great day. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Happy Birthday, Ben!

Celebrating Ben's Birthday

I think Daila enjoyed it the most. But we all enjoyed it more watching her excitment with the giant balloons, decorating the posters, and of course the birthday cake. She LOVES to sing the "Happy Birthday" song and blow at the candles . . . any day of the year. :)